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The Name of the Game
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by Hendrik Hertzberg
July 12, 2010
The New Yorker
Keywords
Soccer; World Cup; United States; Ghana; Football; Sports; F.A. (Football
Association)
Do Americans hate football? Not regular football, of course. Not football as in
first and ten, going long, late hits, special teams, pneumatic cheerleaders in
abbreviated costumes, serial brain concussions¡ªthe game that every American
loves, apart from a few, uh, soreheads. Not that one. The other one. The one
whose basic principle of play is the kicking of a ball by a foot. The one that
the rest of the world calls ¡°football,¡± except when it¡¯s called (for example)
futbal, futball, f¨²tbol, futebol, fotball, f¨®tbolti, fu?ball, or (as in Finland)
jalkapallo, which translates literally as ¡°football.¡± That one.
The question arises now¡ªas it has arisen periodically for eight decades¡ªon
account of the World Cup, the quadrennial global tournament of the sport that
goes here by the name of soccer. ¡°Soccer,¡± by the way, is not some Yankee
neologism but a word of impeccably British origin. It owes its coinage to a
domestic rival, rugby, whose proponents were fighting a losing battle over the
football brand around the time that we were preoccupied with a more sanguinary
civil war. Rugby¡¯s nickname was (and is) rugger, and its players are called
ruggers¡ªa bit of upper-class twittery, as in ¡°champers,¡± for champagne, or
¡°preggers,¡± for enceinte. ¡°Soccer¡± is rugger¡¯s equivalent in Oxbridge-speak. The
¡°soc¡± part is short for ¡°assoc,¡± which is short for ¡°association,¡± as in
¡°association football,¡± the rules of which were codified in 1863 by the
all-powerful Football Association, or FA¡ªthe FA being to the U.K. what the NFL,
the NBA, and MLB are to the U.S. But where were we? Ah, yes. Do Americans hate
it? Soccer, that is?
Here¡¯s one plausible answer: we don¡¯t. The non-haters include the nearly twenty
million of us who stayed indoors on a balmy Saturday afternoon to watch Ghana
join England, Slovenia, and Algeria on this year¡¯s list of countries beaten or
tied by the United States in the World Cup. We were disappointed¡ªGhana won, 2-1,
sending our team home from South Africa. Still, 19.4 million, the number
registered by the Nielsen ratings service, is a lot of people. It¡¯s not just
more people than had ever watched a soccer game on American television before.
It¡¯s also more people than, on average, watched last year¡¯s World Series games,
which had the advantage of being broadcast live in prime time. It¡¯s millions
more than watched the Kentucky Derby or the final round of the Masters golf
tournament or the Daytona 500, the jewel in NASCAR¡¯s crown. And we don¡¯t just
watch. We do. An estimated five million grownups play soccer in these United
States on a regular basis. Kids are mad for it, especially little ones. More
American children play it, informally and in organized leagues, than any other
team sport.
Soccer may be an import, as is our entire nonaboriginal population, but it¡¯s
well on its way to becoming as American as pizza, tacos, and French fries. (And
motherhood: Sarah Palin notwithstanding, ¡°soccer moms¡±¡ªa term introduced to the
political world in 1996, by a Republican consultant¡ªare the proverbial key
demographic.) Of course, soccer has its challenges here, many of them owing to
its relative newness in the arena of American commerce. The enthusiasm of
toddlers and post-toddlers is all very well, but, if that were enough to do the
trick, Nike would have a division devoted to dodgeball. Compared with its
established rivals, big-time soccer is ill suited to televisual exploitation.
The game¡¯s continuous, almost uninterrupted flow of action denies it a steady
supply of intervals for the advertising of beer and the fetching of same from
the refrigerator. The expedient of selling space on the players¡¯
bodies¡ªplastering their uniforms with corporate logos from neck to navel¡ªis less
than fully satisfactory. Also, the soccer pitch is vaster than the gridiron or
the diamond, and the choreography of the game demands the widest of angles. On
TV, the players are tiny¡ªa problem for those as yet unequipped with enormous
high-def flat screens.
Do Americans hate soccer? Well, some of us dislike it immoderately¡ªnot so much
the game itself as what it is taken to represent. This spring, anti-soccer
grumbling on the political right spiked as sharply as the sale of those great
big TVs. Back in 1986, Jack Kemp, the former Buffalo Bills quarterback turned
Republican congressman, took the House floor to oppose a resolution supporting
America¡¯s (ultimately successful) bid to host the 1994 World Cup. Our football,
he declared, embodies ¡°democratic capitalism¡±; their football is ¡°European
socialist.¡± Kemp, though, was kidding; he was sending himself up. Today¡¯s
conservative soccer scolds are not so good-natured. Their complaints are
variations on the theme of un-Americanness. ¡°I hate it so much, probably because
the rest of the world likes it so much,¡± Glenn Beck, the Fox News star,
proclaimed. (Also, ¡°Barack Obama¡¯s policies are the World Cup.¡±) What really
bugs ¡°silly leftist critics,¡± the Washington Times editorialized, is that ¡°the
most popular sports in America¡ªfootball, baseball, and basketball¡ªoriginated
here in the Land of the Free.¡± At the Web site of the American Enterprise
Institute, the Washington Post columnist Marc Thiessen, formerly a speechwriter
for George W. Bush, wrote, ¡°Soccer is a socialist sport.¡± Also, ¡°Soccer is
collectivist.¡± Also, ¡°Perhaps in the age of President Obama, soccer will finally
catch on in America. But I suspect that socializing Americans¡¯ taste in sports
may be a tougher task than socializing our healthcare system.¡± And then there¡¯s
G. Gordon Liddy. Soccer, Liddy informed his radio listeners,
comes from Latin America, and first we have to get into this term, the
Hispanics. That would indicate Spanish language, and yes, these people in Latin
America speak Spanish. That is because conquistadores who came over from
Spain¡ªyou know, tall Caucasians, not very many of them¡ªconquered the Indians,
and the Indians adopted the language of their conquerors. But what we call
Hispanics now really are South American Indians. And this game, I think,
originated with the South American Indians, and instead of a ball they used to
use the head, the decapitated head, of an enemy warrior.
Liddy¡¯s guest, a conservative ¡°media critic¡± named Dan Gainor, responded
cautiously (¡°soccer is such a basic game, you can probably trace its origins
back a couple of different ways¡±), while allowing that ¡°the whole Hispanic
issue¡± is among the reasons ¡°the left¡± is ¡°pushing it in schools around the
country.¡±
Do we hate soccer? That depends on who we think ¡°we¡± are. One of the things that
Franklin Foer¡¯s charming book ¡°How Soccer Explains the World¡± explains is how
soccer, along with its globalizing, unifying effects, provides plenty of
opportunities for expressions of nationalism, which need not be illiberal, and
for tribalism, which almost always is. The soccerphobia of the right is
tribalism masquerading as nationalism. One in four of those twenty million
viewers of the U.S.-Ghana match was watching it on Univision, America¡¯s leading
Spanish-language network. The three others were¡ªwell, who knows. Liberals,
probably, or worse. Enough. A yellow card is in order here, maybe a red one.
Soccer may never be ¡°America¡¯s game¡± (though it¡¯s already one of them), but
America is game for soccer. We¡¯re the Land of the Free, aren¡¯t we? Can¡¯t we be
the land of the free kick, too?
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